pura vida

a journalist walks into a baseball game and...

...is ejected because he's live blogging? The NCAA claims they own the game until it's over. Go higher education! That's the spirit.

"Once a player hits a home run, that's a fact. It's on TV. Everybody sees it. [The NCAA] can't copyright that fact."

terrorists 1; teachers 0

tonight marked some more debates among our GOP candidates and not a word about education or schools. But let's keep fighting terror.

Awesome.

false advertising

My one photo from the Bright Eyes show last Saturday at the Denver Center for the Performing Arts, before I walked out after four songs, completely bored. The whole thing was hugely pretentious and maybe, maybe appropriate for somebody who, say, had 2 or 3 decades of arena performances under the belt. conor's an indie baby. but in his white stayin' alive suit and jackassy jaunt, he was more of a self-important douche.

conor: i hear some of you missed your prom for this show. so let's dance to this next one. c'mon everybody, let's dance.

did he even go to his prom? get off me. I so much wish I had gone to Electric Six instead.

excellent birthday spam

what the hell.

my blog is all f'ed up. what happened to my pictures, I wonder to myself. Fuck.

crazy. but that's how it goes

In other distractions, I joined twitter.

follow me at twitter

where's the snow.

They were predicting a blizzard today. It was supposed to start at 4. There's no blizzard. I need school to be canceled tomorrow. It would make a four day weekend, since there's no school on Monday. C'mon, weather.

Today, toward the end of math class, one of my students asked me (fairly loudly) why I was so funny today. I'm always funny, I reply. You just never listen. Betty, another student, contributes, "oh, it's because she ate today. She's always in a better mood when she eats." Which made me question her logic, seeing how 1. I eat the same exact thing every day and 2. Betty has lunch in my classroom daily and watches me eat. That's right, daily. Usually it's just her, but today more kids figured my class was better (and warmer) than outside, so like 6 kids came up to play cards and eat the cashews I always share at lunch.

Cashews are magical, I tell them.

Better than hot cheetos, in any event.

coffee update

so I started drinking my homemade coffee black. because i ran out of milk and had no choice. but that's not the point.

friday evening, after a day of skiing with my students, i was at the irish rover. not with my students. i was standing outside, keeping my smoker friends company, but not smoking, when this vaguely familiar face came up to me and said,

hey, i know you. you come into the starbucks on broadway. you drink a vanilla latte."

Correction, I respond. I used to drink a vanilla latte. Now I just drink black coffee. No fancy drinks for me.

"Why not?"

"Too expensive. I can't be wasting all my money on vanilla lattes."

"Oh. Well, if you come in when I'm working, you can have whatever you want and I'll just charge you for a black coffee."

Check.

Last night's whiskey drinking was punctuated by an uncharacteristic visit to some warehouse club, falling down some stairs, a giant bruise on my leg, and little to no lesson learned.

black coffee.mp3 Bjork & Tricky

last night at lola's...

probably lasted far longer than it should have.

sweet, wonderful coffee

so after my semi-victory of my local starbucks hombres 1. remembering my drink and 2. remembering that i am a regular customer, my need for over-priced, over-roasted and over-flavored coffee beverages has been satiated.

I finally grinded the tasty yet neglected coffee beans from Porto Rico Imports, much to the dismay of my cat. Who hates the sound. But loves when I make my own coffee because he knows that somewhere, somehow, there is milk in store for him.

I forgot how delicious regular coffee is. Yes, still with milk and sugar but at least it's a start. Once the weather warms up consistently, I will do my best to switch to black. It is going to be warm today, though, so off on my bike I shall ride. I wish Spring Break could last until Summer Break.

Just what i needed.mp3 The Cars

8 days of nothing

today marks the official start of spring break. which was unhappily punctuated by a call this morning at 7:45 from my realtor:

"Rebecca, is it a good time?"
"I guess so," I replied sleepily.

I want to make sure that you are aware of this, this, this and this, and also this differential that and everything else in the world, here it is."

"Um, I lied. I'm actually sleeping. I have no idea what you just said."
"I'll call you later."
Click.

Anyway, from this weekend, tator tots and whiskey. Beat that.

restoring faith

can faith be restored when it never actually existed to begin? maybe it just becomes a lack of disappointment.

anyway, i went into starbucks yesterday morning--yes, every single day I continue to pay way-too-much for an unfair and inequitable flavored coffee beverage, despite my home delivery of the best coffee beans around (Porto Rico Imports). But this day would be different for I had forgotten to bring my mug.

So when I got to the counter, the manager breezed by me and said, "Rebecca, where's your mug?" Stunned, I explained that I had forgotten it. He smiled and questioned,

Will you still have a grande* vanilla latte?"
"Um... yes," I replied slowly

As I left the store, the man behind the register called out,

See you tomorrow."

Mission accomplished. Thanks, Starbucks.

I remember.mp3 Damien Rice


*I always order a medium and refuse to call a medium by any other name just because some corporate giant has trademarked an otherwise inaccurate description of the one in the middle.

the hierarchy of internet safety

streaming_media

r rated

pornography/adult content

dubious/unsavory

Dubious slash unsavory? By far the best denial of all.

on the rocks

taking a night off from whiskey drinking to post some pictures about whiskey drinking.

whiskeybreath.mp3 Devotchka

almost there.

On hold with my mortgage company. I once loved my mortgage company. That is, until they put me on hold for 22 minutes and forced an instrumental eight-minute version of Lisa Stanfield's "If I could change the way" upon my unwilling ears. Still on hold. New song. This one sounds country. I can't quite place it. Oh, I'm off hold. Michelle, my loan associate, does not know what is playing on the instrumental channel. And no, they don't give her a playlist. Anyway, I love my mortgage company again because they approved my loan and I am One Step Closer to growing up. On a related note, I spent yesterday afternoon hanging out at the denver art museum with my niece. And llama riding. Which was purely coincidental. So all day she had been talking about her new friend Maddy and how excited she was to have a new neighborhood friend and Maddy this and Maddy that and when I dropped her off, I got to meet Maddy who, after I smiled and offered sweetly but not condescendingly in that tone that adults use with children whom they know should be kept on their good side, "It's so nice to meet you; I've heard so much about you," gasped as her jaw dropped and said, "you're Aunt Becky? You are not what I was expecting." And so of course I asked her, a little bemused, exactly what she was expecting. She thought, from the stories that Lily told her about me, that I was Lily's age. Lily is five. I'm not sure what to make of this.

2 + 2 = 5.mp3 Radiohead Baby Rock

growing up, part two

Having my second go-round at real estate. Rather than the 19th century fix-me-up residential jalopy I was sure that I was craving, I decided to heed my infinitely-wiser brother's advice and consider a condo. So I did. And when I walked in, and saw the shiny wooden floors, granite countertops and stainless-steel appliances beaming newly with pride, I was sold.

Tomorrow the contract headaches begin anew.

Here it goes again.mp3 OK Go
Here I go again.mp3 Whitesnake

why starbucks should fail

i enjoy coffee as much as the next girl. i have my beans delivered to my house, even. but i keep forgetting to grind those beans.

so for the last two months or so, i've been stopping by my neighborhood Starbucks for a medium vanilla latte. Every single morning. Same time. The same people wait on me. Every single day for eight weeks.

And every single day, they ask me what I'm drinking. Every day.

Here's the thing is that it might be nice if they just tried to guess. Even if they were wrong. It might be nice.

Here's the other thing is that every single day I bring in my own cup: a bright orange cup with a sticker of a horse on it. There's a fucking horse sticker on my cup. And nobody notices that I come every day.

It's not like they're completely aloof. This morning, the younger girl barista told me I looked like a movie star in my sunglasses. On Friday, the older lady barista told me she liked my hair in a ponytail and asked me if I was ready for spring. Christ, that same lady once asked me if I knew who won the Frontier Airlines Denver's Favorite Animal contest. "Ummmm, no..." I replied slowly. The customer behind me thought it might have been a penguin.

Every time I have to remind them at the register that it's a personal cup and I get a ten cents discount (whoo!). Today, the young girl barista was ringing me up and, as she rang up my order, I remind her that it was my own cup.

Personal cup, you mean?"
"Yes," I reply, "every single day."
"Oh, good for you!" she offers in mock enthusiasm.

Last week, the flamboyantly-friendly guy barista, after I paid, commanded for me to hold on a minute. He then reached into his tip canister, grabbed a dime, and exclaimed, "Oops! I forgot to give you your personal mug discount,"as he dropped the dime into my hand.

I think this began to officially annoy me on Thursday, after I went to my local hipster pizza place for the third time in two weeks. I walked in and, without even looking up, the guy behind the counter said, "Greek salad, right?" Three fucking visits and they know why I'm there. Because it's their job. And they didn't even try to upsell me, like they do every single morning at Starbucks. I don't want your crappy pastries, Starbucks. I don't even want your crappy coffee, it's just on the way and I keep forgetting to grind my beans. And when I get to the counter, and you say to me, "any pastries today?" and I say, "no thanks," do not accuse me with, "are you sure? I saw you looking in that pastry case." Yeah I was looking in your pastry case. What else am I going to look at while I stand in line? Shall I whip out my phone with defiant self-importance, confident that everybody in the entire store wants to hear my business at 7:30 in the morning (loudly, at that)?

I'm going to go grind me some coffee.

...although the masochist in me wants to go back to Starbucks for as long as it takes for them to remember my drink order. Or, at the very least, let me know that they know that I'm there every morning. I'm a regular, dammit! Notice me.

Music for morning people.mp3 Kid Koala
Fucking alone.mp3 Iggy Pop

ending the day with a song

Sentiments of love and hate.mp3
(right click on link + save as to download file.)
Total playing time: 32.14.

Late-night music-compiling feeling-sorry-for-self sort of mood.

1. Tom Waits - 2:19
2. Grizzly Bear - Shift
3. Decemberists - 16 Military Wives
4. Modest Mouse - Satin in a Coffin
5. Deerhoof - Flower
6. Simon & Garfunkel - Only Living Boy in New York
7. Uncle Tupelo - Still Be Around
8. Deerhunter - Lake Somerset
9. M. Ward - Chinese Translation
10. The Boy Least Likely To - Warm Panda Cola

Maybe I wasn't meant to grow up

The inspection report on the house was miserable. Miserable! So it looks like I am a not a homeowner after all. My inspector told me that it was the worst house he had ever seen and that, under no circumstances, could he recommend its purchase.

Adding to my Be A Grown Up Initiative was this weekend's purchase of a bunch of mutual funds. Nice that my Very First Business Day would welcome the very worst stock drop in six years.

Which makes me want to immediately take off for the Greek islands with only my passport and a credit card. Or, at the very least, take advantage of Frontier's round trip special this weekend of Denver to Mazatlan for $159.

I don't wanna grow up.mp3 performed by The Ramones
I don't wanna grow up.mp3 written and performed by Tom Waits

growing up a little

As of yesterday, I am a home-owner. It needs a handful of work and is just on the fringe of an emerging neighborhood (according to the American Planning Association, anyway) and I am so excited I can hardly stand it.

Come On A My House.mp3
Rosemary Clooney

Mix Tape 07 Part 3 of 3

Fourteen Degrees on a Tuesday Evening (getting colder).
(right click on link + save as to download file.)
Total playing time: 32.14.

The third in my thirty-minute series of nothing much at all.

1. Jim White - Burn the River Dry
2. Hello Stranger - We Used to Talk
3. Animal Collective - Grass
4. British Sea Power - A Wooden Horse
5. Air - You Make It Easy
6. Billie Holiday - The Man I Love
7. Magnetic Fields - 100,000 Fireflies
8. Peeping Tom feat. Kid Koala - Celebrity Death Match
9. Persephone's Bees - City of Love

Absurdistan

So I was casually glancing about Wikipedia (procrastinating on the headache that is laundry) when I read that, as of December 21, 2006, Saparmurat Niyazov* has died. Reportedly of a cardiac arrest, though some theorists believe he was poisoned.

What is that going to mean for Turkmenistan? Apparently, they amended the constitution so that those of mixed ethnic backgrounds could be president (read: Saparmurat's son, Murat).

Also according to the constitution, next in line to the presidency was Öwezgeldi Ataýew, but he was coincidentally thrown in jail on the exact same day that Saparmurat died, on charges that he was harrassing and humiliating his daughter-in-law, driving her to attempt suicide.

Presidential elections are this Sunday. I can't WAIT to see what happens. But it gets better.

Acting president is Gurbanguly Mälikgulyýewiç Berdimuhammedow, who was a dentist, before he entered Turkmenistan politics. He is said to be responsible for the mandate that closed ALL of the hospitals outside of the capital city (based on flawed logic that if you are sick, you want to be near the best resources). Uncoincidentally, Turkmenistan is reported to have the worst healthcare among the former Soviet nations.

According to rumors, the acting president is also the former president's illegitimate son (not to be confused with his legitimate son, also a presidential contender, Murat).

*You may recall Saparmurat Niyazov from his greatest hits like: "President For Life;" "Ban Ballet and Opera in the Name of Useless;" "Close All Rural Libraries and Hospitals Since the Common Man Knows Neither Books Nor Medicine;" "Dogs and Video Games Are Forbidden Because They Stink/Stink of Violence."

And for you, Saparmurat, The Man Who Would Be King.mp3.

i'm a breck girl

Scenes from Breckenridge this afternoon, which was sometimes sunny and always beautiful and not at all crowded on account of the football game. My only complaint was that we had to pay $10 for what used to be the free parking lot. Which would have been fine because the gondola took us straight to the mountain and we didn't have to wait for the bus.

But when we left for the day, mechanical problems kept the gondola from bringing us back. So we had to wait for the bus anyway, but without a parking fee refund. Which seems unfortunate, because the only reason the parking lot is pay (as of 01/07/07 or thereabout) is because of the gondola access.


video music - Hanasakajijii (One: The Angry Neighbor) by Anathallo.

saturday afternoon skiing

Rocking the Molly Hogan at A-Basin.

Mix Tape 07 Part 2 of 3

Twenty-Two Degrees on a Tuesday Evening.
(right click on link + save as to download file.)
Total playing time: 32.28.

It always ends the same (alone).

1. Super Furry Animals - Hello Sunshine
2. Hello Saferide - The Quiz
3. Devotchka - Queen of the Surface Streets
4. We Are Scientists - Nobody Move (acoustic)
5. Wilco - Will You Still Love Me
6. Elliott Smith - Say Yes
7. The Mountain Goats - Love Love Love
8. Bright Eyes - We Are Nowhere And It’s Now
9. Bjork & Tricky - Black Coffee

identity theft frustration

Blockbuster called me yesterday to tell me that my account was about to be charged $150 for my unreturned videos.

"What?" I asked myself. "I don't rent from Blockbuster."

I promptly called the number left behind via the Robotron voice, only to learn that somebody checked out various episodes of Grey's Anatomy under my name.

"You must have loaned your card out," Blockbuster assured me.

"No, I did not," I assured back. "Check and see how they paid for these videos because I swear to you neither I nor anybody I know would ever rent them."

"With a Visa. Oh, and Becky? It's signed with your name."

"But I don't have a Visa card. And Becky isn't my name. It hasn't actually been my name for decades. Clearly this is an imposter."

"Well, we'll just remove the charges on your behalf."

"Okay... thanks. But shouldn't you call the police or something?" I asked, still mildly horrified by the idea of someone signing my childhood nickname across a credit card receipt, twenty minutes on the other side of town.

"No, you'd be surprised how often this happens. Nine times out of ten, you just loaned your card to a friend and forgot that you did."

"But I'm a 31-year old science teacher. It's not like my friends and I run around town, loaning out our Blockbuster cards to rent back seasons of mediocre television programs."

"Don't worry, we are not going to charge you anything."

"But that's not the point!"

"Well, you can call Customer Service, but there's not actually anything they can do to help you."

sandwich vernacular

I've been noticing grinders on menus as of late. At Keysone Resort this weekend. At Starbucks this morning. That's right, Starbucks serves up a grinder.

But theirs isn't right. Their grinder has turkey salami. Lettuce leaves. God only knows what else. Probably chopped onions and sliced pickles.

A grinder should have 1. shredded lettuce and some tomato slices 2. salt & pepper 3. oil 4. provolone and 5. fucking genoa salami. Genoa.

Jeez.

skiing (gone so wrong)

Voici un photo de Keystone, which would have been glorious if only someone had not stolen my skis in the end. Quel dommage.

Mix Tape 07 Part 1 of 3

Sunday Afternoon in Duluth*.
(right click on link + save as to download file.)
Total playing time: 33.16.

*now! with new directions.

Upon review, I see that two songs are about death (1 and 10). That makes a death sandwich. With a pinch of anger (9), aliens (8), alcohol (7) and sex (4).

1. Architecture in Helsinki - In Case We Die (parts 1-5)
2. Air - Radio #1
3. Tapes 'n Tapes - Insistor
4. Spoon - I Turn My Camera On
5. Feist - Mushaboom
6. Devotchka - Miette
7. Devotchka - Ocean of Lust
8. Radiohead - Subterranean Homesick Alien
9. Delgados - All You Need Is Hate
10.U.N.K.L.E. - Lonely Soul (abridged)

more on steamboat, less on vegas

My whirlwind trip to Vegas came to a staggering halt when I caught word of yet ANOTHER snowstorm in Denver. To hear it told, it would once again shut down the city. Argh.

So I ran as fast as I could from Las Vegas, catching an earlier flight. Only to arrive seven hours early in Denver, where there was little to no new snow.

No pictures from the city of sin (just a distant memory of whiskey at the Playboy Club), however more pictures from Steamboat:

felíz año nuevo

As I slowly emerge from my New Year's daze, I must pack for Vegas. Busy, busy. I spent the weekend on a mini-ski holiday in Steamboat Springs. I was able to keep my 1999 resolution, that is, to never forget another NYE. This one was spent drinking coke and watching fools be fools.

observed v. actual (1-0)

today i do not work for it is veteran's day. not technically. but practically enough to close all the public schools.*

the holiday is actually november 11, unless the 11th is a weekend, in which case we "celebrate" on the nearest workday. great lesson for the kids: take your free days whenever possible.

now it is three o'clock, which is the time i would be done working had there been school today. i have done nothing in place of work. unless watching kindergarten cop counts, which i feel like it does. and reading up on election stuff. which is so exciting, i can hardly stand it! i still dream of moving to the south of france, but it no longer seems so urgent.

what is urgent is that i go do laundry. first i must find a laundromat. blah.**

*unless you got a fall break, in which case, you do not get to celebrate today.

**usual laundromat 1/2 block away is out of business.

an apostrophe for everyone!

Seriously. It's your major headline. Are copy editors that hard to find?

they say it's tuesday

but it feels like thursday.

I walked to my car yesterday to discover there was an intent to tow notice stuck in the door. My car was mistaken for abandoned apparently because 1. it is old and abandoned-esque and 2. the registration expired in July. Which baffles me because aren't you supposed to get something in the mail to renew the registration? I was in Connecticut for all of July but they still should have sent me a postcard in June or something.

Rounding out my To Do list at #358: Get Car Registered

kittenpiece theatre

Tough odds to beat

The Sundem/Tierney Unified Celebrity Theory
From today's NYTimes.

olbermann counts it down

kitten mania!

my very extravagant mother. . .

just sent us nothing?

hey now rock star

do they sell orange obox in america?

don't you call me sinister.

Tomorrow is Left Handed Day.

From Wikipedia:

Right-handed actor Gary Cooper played left-handed athlete Lou Gehrig in the film The Pride of the Yankees.

For scenes requiring him to bat left-handed, Cooper wore a Yankee uniform with Gehrig's number 4 mirror-reversed on his back. Cooper batted the ball right-handed, then ran to third base (not first). The film was then optically reversed, turning Cooper into a southpaw.

everybody get the gutte.

motorola phones may be fancy

but the sound quality sucks. the only thing my phone is good for is iTunes (which is free to use and not quite as daunting as my iPod). so imagine me not really caring when Cingular turned off my phone for being ONE WEEK late with my payment. Verizon used to let me go at least three months.

So I called Cingular to try and pay my bill but I wanted to talk to an operator before I paid the measly $75.00 that they're crying about and make sure that they'd turn my phone on today. But lo! Cingular doesn't have operators on Sundays. Wha? Who in the telecom industry keeps those kind of hours?!

To summarize, I'll probably get my phone turned on by the end of the week but, with the exception of people worrying because it says it was turned off at my request when you call (lie!), I sort of like not being dragged down by a portable phone.

They're so trendy nowadays.

Muppets.

Sometimes, this is all you need to turn that frown upside down. You know. If you happen to be frowning.



Things to brighten the day and lessen the headache.

Roar!

For no other reason than procrastination (again), I just discovered this picture that I took years ago and wanted to immortalize the already-immortalized lions via a posting.

Morning news is dada.

Here's the thing is that Matt Lauer, who would appear a stranger to sarcasm/wit/cognizance, can't grasp why politicians would choose to be mocked by appearing on the (critically and publicly acclaimed) Colbert Report:

They think they're being hip; I don't know.

First, note that it's far better than setting oneself up for irrelevance by appearing on NBC's Absolutely Inane Today Show. Same goes for Good Morning America. Second, note that Matt Lauer is kinda stupid. Or a really good actor. Although, as I recall back to my undergraduate journalism classes, there was a wall of duh that separated the broadcast journalists from everybody else.

Prolonging the pain.

November 2008 is a long way off. As our administration muddles through in continued failure, have we stopped caring? Why aren't we impeaching everyone responsible for this debacle we call foreign policy?

Bob Herbert offers his own clearly-worded confusion:

Imagine a surgeon who is completely clueless, who has no idea what he or she is doing.

Imagine a pilot who is equally incompetent.

Now imagine a president.

The Middle East is in flames. Iraq has become a charnel house, a crucible of horror with no end to the agony in sight. Lebanon is in danger of going down for the count. And the crazies in Iran, empowered by the actions of their enemies, are salivating like vultures. They can’t wait to feast on the remains of U.S. policies and tactics spawned by a sophomoric neoconservative fantasy — that democracy imposed at gunpoint in Iraq would spread peace and freedom, like the flowers of spring, throughout the Middle East.

If a Democratic president had pursued exactly the same policies, and achieved exactly the same tragic results as George W. Bush, that president would have been the target of a ferocious drive for impeachment by the G.O.P.

Palabra.

baby kit

Clearly fatigued, the baby stretches. She is a hard worker.

I knew I smelled something.

From Gothamist,

The Department of Environmental Protection confirmed there is a sewage leak somewhere on the G line that is causing the disgusting smell.

A track inspector told am New York, 'It's like raw sewage coming from a pipe, disgusting. It smells real bad and makes me want to throw up.'

full story

The ladies smile because they are proud. They did it!

how many kilos can a kit carry?

kitten posts hit the trifecta

kittens, kittens, kittens

kitten!

My New Camera Phone

The latest in distractions.

waiting

in the interest of putting off everything else, I have made a decided effort to start posting again. Here I am, nearly two years later. Just as happy, just as rich, just as healthy. Well, moderately healthy and not rich at all. But happy.

Currently putting off:

• going to the gym
• writing progress in planning paper due tuesday
• grading assignments that were handed in friday
• cleaning house
• calling mom
• finding costume for halloween party tonight

you can't trick me

I can't believe it! I got my third Virus submission of the day! This one was from anna @ wellsfargo.com. You can't get me, Virus. I know what you are up to. You want me to unzip you when I've never even met you. You don't even know my name. What kind of computer user do you take me for? You keep trying, though. Don't give up, Virus. There are others who will fall prey to your exploits. Not me, though. I know you.

I know your tricks.

the nutmeg state

Wednesday I am going home. I think it has been almost five years. I also think that the only time I have written in my blog is when I leave town. Well, this time and then the last time. Okay, twice.

Oh, Connecticut. Do you miss me?

gotham city

Tomorrow I go to New York. I can't wait.

Today I go to the bank. Commercial Federal holds not nearly the same thrill as Gotham.

Adventures await!

m.i.a.

Dear Web Log,

how are you? I can't believe how long it's been since I last wrote to you. Almost a month! Time seems to go faster as I age.

What have you been up to? I've been so busy with school and my internship. I meant to check in on you but you know how that goes. If it's not one thing, it's another.

I'm just checking flights to NYC while I wait for friends to figure out what's going on for tonight and for Denver's illustrious own Oktoberfest. One can't go wrong with an eight dollar bratwurst--or can one?

Maybe I'll see you around. You should come downtown with us sometime--it would do you good to get out once in a while.

Later,

Your User

sauna love

I am addicted to the sauna at the gym. All of the toxins--gone! The smells of the wood and heat remind me of being a kid. Every year my family would go to Killington to ski. The house we always stayed in had a sauna. After a day of skiing, I would retreat to the sauna for as long as I could until my mom ordered me out. ('You're going to melt in there!')

Anyway, I love the sauna. Save for the sweaty men. And the ladies who insist on doing yoga inside. I'd like it better without them.

colin firth

I have been up since 4 am. The satellite is wacked out and I don't feel like turning the alarm off so that I can climb onto the roof and readjust the satellite (see: last Saturday's thunderstorm; Dish network's inability to send anyone out until next Sunday to readjust satellite). Plus I would just get sucked into the Lifetime Movie Network. Which isn't bad, per se, it just removes any hope of returning back to bed because I would be riveted to the drama of Kellie Martin, the passion of Lynda Carter or the schemes of Nicolette Sheridan for two solid hours. Anyway, here I am, redesigning my web site. I think I am finished. I may go back to bed. Or watch Pride & Prejudice. A solid 5 hour committment.

sweaty monkey

Nobody doesn't like monkeys.

On an unrelated note, I went to the gym last night. After two hours of strength and endurance training (giddyup), I decide to unwind in the sauna. Co-ed, by the way. Ick.

This is why Ick: I walk in and there's some man reading a book off in the far corner of the sauna. Good, I think to self. Man is reading. I can absorb hundreds of degrees in peace.

I lay down. I close eyes. I hear man adjusting himself.

I feel self being sprayed with something that is wet while man utters caveman 'moo boo moo boo' as he shakes himself, a la wet dog. I exclaim 'ew!' as I bolt upright and quickly wipe face and body with towel. Man continues to shake self. I move as far away from man as possible.

Man settles down. Sauna is quiet. Everything settles. I resume sleeping position.

THEN!

Man shakes self again. Sweat sprays across sauna as I get caught in crossfire. I shriek in horror and turn to man.

'Sir,' I ask, 'You keep hitting me with your sweat. Do you want to be alone?'

'Does it BOTHER you that I hit you with my sweat?' man asks in offense.

'Um, no, I guess not,' I answer meekly, 'I just thought maybe you wanted to be alone in here to exercise or something.'

'No,' man answers.

Sauna settles. Man leaves sauna. I leave one song after man has left.

Upon leaving the gym, I relay story to Keith at front desk who assures me that sweat spraying is not common male practice and I should have insisted that man stopped. I warned Keith that if he hears of a girl getting a black eye in the sauna, it was just me, getting sassy.

bill owens makes his own phone calls

I just took a message for our CEO today. His secretary isn't in so the call went to me. I wasn't really paying attention because I was reading an email.

Mm hmm, I said. Mm hmm, I said. Not really listening.

Then I hear, 'Well, okay, can you just tell him that I called?'

'I'm sorry,' I say. 'Who did you say you were?'

'Governor Owens.'

'Oh. Okay.'

Huh.

In other, work-related news, I quit my job. My last day is next week some time. Giddyup because I don't have another job and have little to no plans to find one. I plan on painting, writing, and taking a lot of classes so I can be done with my Master's in December. My plan is parent-sanctioned, even.

Then I don't know what.

I saw The Libertines last night. I love The Libertines. The Libertines are great. Go see them.

west coast flava

Dear California,

I love you. You make me giggle because you are so weird.