Thursday, August 14, 2003

sauna love

I am addicted to the sauna at the gym. All of the toxins--gone! The smells of the wood and heat remind me of being a kid. Every year my family would go to Killington to ski. The house we always stayed in had a sauna. After a day of skiing, I would retreat to the sauna for as long as I could until my mom ordered me out. ('You're going to melt in there!')

Anyway, I love the sauna. Save for the sweaty men. And the ladies who insist on doing yoga inside. I'd like it better without them.

colin firth

I have been up since 4 am. The satellite is wacked out and I don't feel like turning the alarm off so that I can climb onto the roof and readjust the satellite (see: last Saturday's thunderstorm; Dish network's inability to send anyone out until next Sunday to readjust satellite). Plus I would just get sucked into the Lifetime Movie Network. Which isn't bad, per se, it just removes any hope of returning back to bed because I would be riveted to the drama of Kellie Martin, the passion of Lynda Carter or the schemes of Nicolette Sheridan for two solid hours. Anyway, here I am, redesigning my web site. I think I am finished. I may go back to bed. Or watch Pride & Prejudice. A solid 5 hour committment.

Tuesday, August 12, 2003

sweaty monkey

Nobody doesn't like monkeys.

On an unrelated note, I went to the gym last night. After two hours of strength and endurance training (giddyup), I decide to unwind in the sauna. Co-ed, by the way. Ick.

This is why Ick: I walk in and there's some man reading a book off in the far corner of the sauna. Good, I think to self. Man is reading. I can absorb hundreds of degrees in peace.

I lay down. I close eyes. I hear man adjusting himself.

I feel self being sprayed with something that is wet while man utters caveman 'moo boo moo boo' as he shakes himself, a la wet dog. I exclaim 'ew!' as I bolt upright and quickly wipe face and body with towel. Man continues to shake self. I move as far away from man as possible.

Man settles down. Sauna is quiet. Everything settles. I resume sleeping position.


Man shakes self again. Sweat sprays across sauna as I get caught in crossfire. I shriek in horror and turn to man.

'Sir,' I ask, 'You keep hitting me with your sweat. Do you want to be alone?'

'Does it BOTHER you that I hit you with my sweat?' man asks in offense.

'Um, no, I guess not,' I answer meekly, 'I just thought maybe you wanted to be alone in here to exercise or something.'

'No,' man answers.

Sauna settles. Man leaves sauna. I leave one song after man has left.

Upon leaving the gym, I relay story to Keith at front desk who assures me that sweat spraying is not common male practice and I should have insisted that man stopped. I warned Keith that if he hears of a girl getting a black eye in the sauna, it was just me, getting sassy.

Friday, August 08, 2003

bill owens makes his own phone calls

I just took a message for our CEO today. His secretary isn't in so the call went to me. I wasn't really paying attention because I was reading an email.

Mm hmm, I said. Mm hmm, I said. Not really listening.

Then I hear, 'Well, okay, can you just tell him that I called?'

'I'm sorry,' I say. 'Who did you say you were?'

'Governor Owens.'

'Oh. Okay.'


In other, work-related news, I quit my job. My last day is next week some time. Giddyup because I don't have another job and have little to no plans to find one. I plan on painting, writing, and taking a lot of classes so I can be done with my Master's in December. My plan is parent-sanctioned, even.

Then I don't know what.

I saw The Libertines last night. I love The Libertines. The Libertines are great. Go see them.

Friday, August 01, 2003

west coast flava

Dear California,

I love you. You make me giggle because you are so weird.