Don't loiter or litter

Copyedit on the UES

Local laundry wellcomes you

The suspense is killing me

No dog's what?

Hello LES, did you miss me?

Bagels are bugels in the LES

They major in careers

but not copyediting.

SPSS has flaws, too

Get your chapers on!

Seeking Paul Bunyan

an apostrophe for everyone!

Seriously. It's your major headline. Are copy editors that hard to find?

I've never been one to follow rules. Protocol doesn't apply to me, I've always thought. I'd rather do things my own way. Occasional offenses aside, my way has always worked out for me.

So why do I get so annoyed when someone else can't obey simple rules of traffic, grammar or spelling?

It drives me crazy when a car doesn't heed its appropriate right of way. Keep up with the posted speed limit and please, for the love of all that is good, take those freaking beanie babies out of the back window of your car. The open road is not the time to assert your quirks while you hinder your driving vision.

I shudder when someone overlooks the difference between a semi-colon and a colon or has no idea that one exclamation point is just as effective as four of them. The excitement of a statement does not grow exponentially with the amount of punctuation marks ending the thought.

Don't even get me started on spelling. To, too, two--recognize that there is a working difference. The power of your word is lost on me when it is spelled wrong.

Imagine my disdain at the email I received yesterday afternoon:

you know that old story about the one who throws the first stone? its the one who has never made a mistake before.. or a bad decision....

you could have just not e-mailed me back...

and if you think that i feel in any way good right now.. you are wrong...

but that is probably what you want...

i wish you well...

Never mind the content. It's just a guy who is angry because I called him out on his devastingly offensive behavior toward a friend last week. In any event, I couldn't even absorb the meaning of his message as I was distracted by all those damned ellipses. Improperly used ellipses, I might add.

Ellipses are three spaced dots, used to indicate that part of a quotation has been omitted. They are not used to connect thoughts. Ellipses are not the lazy man's transitional phrase.

Come on, America. Get it together.