I've just returned from a baby shower at the office. Wow, was it boring. Maybe you have to be a mom to appreciate the Precious Moments figurines. I just smiled patiently through all of the gift unwrapping, thinking about the forthcoming chocolate ice cream.
Must everything be passed through the crowd? I get the idea from six feet away; I don't need to hold those infant pajamas in my own hands to grasp their concept. Ooh, the crowd coos in unison. gag.
I want to start my own collectable line. I'll call it Primate Moments. It will feature devastatingly cute yet hopelessly ceramic monkeys, hanging from trees and bassinets and stuff. The Banana Line will feature them eating bananas. It will be a sensation among expectant-mothers and retired ladies alike.
Monkeys are way cuter than those doe-eyed infants, hanging from crosses. Seriously. She got a ceramic baby, hanging from a cross. That's just weird.
Per my brother's request, I have crossed-out this post because, like so many times over again, it makes me sound like a callous bitch. His words.
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